We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Intrusive​/​Cathartic

by Rachael Libérer

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
I wish I was dead Every time I hear your name I wish I was dead Every time you push me out of frame Something about those Lazy Sunday evenings, though Kind of makes you want to Kill yourself, you know? And you attack without Any warning or provocation And you erase my doubts That your rage might take a vacation Something about those Lazy Sunday evenings, though Kind of makes you want to Kill yourself, you know?
2.
You know they don't care, right? That you cry, night after night They forget you the moment they Have escaped your grasp, victorious prey You know they don't think of you Unless you're obscuring their view You're the traumatic thing they Push down, the reason they pray To that god that hates you so Now let that self hate grow Is that little car your ex? The one you still tearfully text, The one who made you think you're worthy, Of more than this lonely misery Never symbiotic, you're just a fungus Did you think you'd be part of an us? Your mom's tailing you, I'm sure She knows you, knows you aren't pure Knows what you do on those drives Late at night, trying to feel alive Dolled up, come back, smelling of smoke Smell of sadness and sex even you can't cloak She knows you're a disappointment Knows it's you, not her job as a parent We both know the pills don't help Just let you pretend to control yourself You're still shaking, still crying We both known you aren't even trying To control yourself, your behavior, Nobody's lining up to be your savior Your incessant whining is tearing This family apart and it's scaring Away the friends you could be making, "It's chill," you say, your body quaking, Because you had to answer a phone There's worse problems, you know Stop making people care about you Stop reminding everyone that you feel blue They're all waiting for you To do what you always threaten to End it, end their suffering This charade is getting embarrassing They'll all leave, you have an expiration date, One year, six months, no one ever stays late Flash back to making your mom shout "What do you even have to be sad about?" I'll give you something to be sad about
3.
I wanna be a bottle blonde I don't know why but I feel conned I wanna be an idle teen I wish I hadn't been so clean I wanna stay inside all day I want the world to go away I want blood, guts, and chocolate cake I wanna be a real fake Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible Feeling super, super, super suicidal The wasted years, the wasted youth The pretty lies, the ugly truth And the day has come where I have died Only to find, I've come alive I wanna be a virgin pure A twenty-first century whore I want back my virginity So I can feel infinity I wanna drink until I ache I wanna make a big mistake I want blood, guts, and angel cake I'm gonna puke it anyway Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible Feeling super, super, super suicidal The wasted years, the wasted youth The pretty lies, the ugly truth And the day has come where I have died Only to find, I've come alive Come alive, I've come alive Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh I wish I wasn't such a narcissist I wish I didn't really kiss The mirror when I'm on my own Oh God, I'm gonna die alone Adolescence didn't make sense A little loss of innocence The ugliness of being a fool Ain't youth meant to be beautiful? Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible Feeling super, super, super suicidal The wasted years, the wasted youth The pretty lies, the ugly truth And the day has come where I have died Only to find, I've come alive Only to find, I've come alive Only to find, I've come alive All our lives (Feeling super, super, super) (Feeling super, super, super) (Feeling super, super, super) All our lives
4.
If he wanted to, he would But we both know he never could Love some sad excuse of a girl A monster like you, a human tilt-a-whirl Never reigning in these stupid emotions You know you're not worthy of any devotion Not from him or from the knock-off Version of him you know you'll never love He looks at you, all moon eyes and honestly, You're just wishing he would leave already Just accept how disgusting you are See through the smoke, the mirrors, the bar Is so low it's in hell, you're future home Build a summer house with your words like stones Locked in this cycle, it's endless No, you won't be loved, don't you get it? Rinse, repeat, clean and shrink, baby You can't even stand to look at your body He was the love of your life because he saw The truth of you and he called it a draw Thinking that was all, but you were so intent On proving him wrong, starting the descent Into your worst self, too quick, Into hate a year early, led by the tick Of that IED you call a heart Always see the end before it can start You're no leading lady and you're not Ever capable of being so hot For him to put up with this shit Even you know it's better to quit The texts, the gifts, the constant need To be loved and be told, must you always feed On their love, their attention, their soul Of anyone dumb enough to bring you home? But he'll find a girl worthy of him, You never were, you're not that dim To think he didn't see the second time When hid from you and your passionless crime Too selfish to leave him alone, Too cruel, you're a cold hearted crone Give up the ghost, stop believing, That anything could have stopped him leaving It's all the same, all too well Your inside joke, you personal hell You'll always be alone, you know that Tattooed on your heart, in the fat Of your arms, your hips, belly and thighs, Always saw the disappointment in his eyes You know you're side piece, you always are You know he never loved you and every scar Is a reminder not to forget the truth: Hell is other people and you're living proof Hell is other people and I'm living proof
5.
I believe in medication And I believe in therapy And I believe in crystal light 'Cause I believe in me, yeah It's so uplifting, fuck yeah I barely have motivation They say I suffer from a lack of serotonin Synapses, they happen too infrequently for me To be functioning properly I took the pills I took the advice The panic stopped But still I'm not right Racing thoughts and wasted time It's the same old story-line This is my nursery rhyme And it goes: I believe in medication And I believe in therapy And I believe in crystal light 'Cause I believe in me, yeah It's so uplifting, fuck yeah I'm barely off the medication And now the walls are closing in again I can't breathe And I can't bleed Will you be my alibi? Tell them that I truly tried To give in? Whoa-oh-oh (hoo hoo) Whoa-oh-oh (hoo hoo) Whoa-oh-oh (hoo hoo) Whoa-oh-oh...

about

This EP is more raw than WWE or something. It's for the people like me, who have brains that tell you mean, hurtful things over and over. It's also for the people who love us and would beat the shit out of anyone who talked to us like that.

credits

released June 25, 2022

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Rachael Libérer Louisiana

I am but a torch singer in an indie chick's body. One day, I will learn to play guitar better. Until then, I guess everyone is just stuck with my poetic lyrics and full voice

contact / help

Contact Rachael Libérer

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Rachael Libérer, you may also like: