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Internal Monologue part 2

from Intrusive​/​Cathartic by Rachael Libérer

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about

Written in 2022

lyrics

If he wanted to, he would
But we both know he never could
Love some sad excuse of a girl
A monster like you, a human tilt-a-whirl
Never reigning in these stupid emotions
You know you're not worthy of any devotion

Not from him or from the knock-off
Version of him you know you'll never love
He looks at you, all moon eyes and honestly,
You're just wishing he would leave already

Just accept how disgusting you are
See through the smoke, the mirrors, the bar
Is so low it's in hell, you're future home
Build a summer house with your words like stones
Locked in this cycle, it's endless
No, you won't be loved, don't you get it?
Rinse, repeat, clean and shrink, baby
You can't even stand to look at your body

He was the love of your life because he saw
The truth of you and he called it a draw
Thinking that was all, but you were so intent
On proving him wrong, starting the descent
Into your worst self, too quick,
Into hate a year early, led by the tick
Of that IED you call a heart
Always see the end before it can start

You're no leading lady and you're not
Ever capable of being so hot
For him to put up with this shit
Even you know it's better to quit
The texts, the gifts, the constant need
To be loved and be told, must you always feed
On their love, their attention, their soul
Of anyone dumb enough to bring you home?

But he'll find a girl worthy of him,
You never were, you're not that dim
To think he didn't see the second time
When hid from you and your passionless crime
Too selfish to leave him alone,
Too cruel, you're a cold hearted crone
Give up the ghost, stop believing,
That anything could have stopped him leaving

It's all the same, all too well
Your inside joke, you personal hell
You'll always be alone, you know that
Tattooed on your heart, in the fat
Of your arms, your hips, belly and thighs,
Always saw the disappointment in his eyes

You know you're side piece, you always are
You know he never loved you and every scar
Is a reminder not to forget the truth:
Hell is other people and you're living proof

Hell is other people and I'm living proof

credits

from Intrusive​/​Cathartic, released June 25, 2022

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Rachael Libérer image

Rachael Libérer Louisiana

I am but a torch singer in an indie chick's body. One day, I will learn to play guitar better. Until then, I guess everyone is just stuck with my poetic lyrics and full voice

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